See, Marshall is your best wide receiver. You could argue he was a big reason why Jay Cutler was so statistically fantastic last year. He's bit and strong and fast and has great hands. He's going to be a very good wideout for a long time. And here's the kicker: he doesn't want anything to do with you.
Yes, Marshall has been demanding a trade for a while now, and since you're not giving it to him, he's begun to act like he's 13. See yesterday's practice footage, in which Marshall refused to catch any passes or run with his teammates. And decided to punt balls across the field instead of handing them to the ball boy and -- this is really funny -- ran passing drills but intentionally didn't catch every ball thrown his way. Instead, he just batted them to the ground. You couldn't make this stuff up.
You've responded by suspending Marshall, which is a good idea. That'll probably make things better.
Or, you could say screw it and deal with one disgruntled superstar the way you dealt with another: trade him to the Bears! Believe us, we Chicago fans act like we care if our players are good guys, but we really don't. Brandon Marshall can act like a psycho all he wants; if he shows up on Sunday and recreates what he did last season with Jay Cutler, but in a Bears uniform this time, heck, he can play naked. See if we mind.
So go ahead, Josh McDaniels. Push for a trade. You know you want to. And if you need Jerry Angelo's phone number, you know where to find it.
Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.