Playing for Ozzie Guillen must be a real roller coaster.
One day, Ozzie's having fun, joking around, playing up how much he's going to stick up for his players; the next day he's angry and tired and doesn't want to have anything to do with you. For us, this is a good thing because Ozzie Guillen is freaking hilarious.
The latest example comes after the White Sox's 4-3 loss to the Seattle Mariners, in which the Sox carried a lead into the ninth before Bobby Jenks served up a meatball for the loss. Guillen, as you might imagine, was not pleased:
"I'm only going to say two things," manager Ozzie Guillen said well after Bobby Jenks blew his sixth save by allowing home runs to Jose Lopez and Bill Hall in the ninth to force extra innings. "I'm tired and I don't have anything. ... It was 2 1/2 hours of satisfaction and then 2 1/2 hours of horse[bleep] baseball. Go ask them. I don't have any more quotes, seriously. What the [bleep] am I going to say? They're horse[bleep]? Yes, they are."
Ouch. Most Sox players would probably admit that, but still. Ouch.
But that wasn't even Guillen's best quote of the night. That came a few sentences later, when Guillen busted out the sort of tease metaphor we haven't heard since we were back in the fraternity house, AMIRIGHT? (Note: we were not in a fraternity.)
"This is a tease, man," Guillen said. "It's like when you have a girlfriend and you are kissing her all over ... and she says no. That's where we are right now. That's the way we are. Like I say, it doesn't matter what Detroit does. It only matters what we do."
Oh, Ozzie. How you entertain us. Never stop being you, OK? Never change. We love you just the way you are.
Oh, and in the meantime, in case you're wondering, it doesn't matter what the Sox do. Their fate is at this point sealed. So why don't you kick back, relax, and throw a few more classic lines at us? We'll be waiting.
Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.