How Did Daley Get that Black Eye?

How we think he got it

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Mayor Richard M. Daley.

    Mayor Daley is taking some time off this week on the heels of (coincidentally or not) showing up for work on Monday with a welt near his right eye supposedly due to a weight-lifting injury.

    Riiiight.

    We've got some other ideas about how he might have gotten hurt.

    - Slipped and fell on all that TIF district money falling out of his pockets.

    - Punched in face by Maggie for moving her arts program off of Block 37 for a comic book store.

    - Fell into a pothole while leaving Schaller's Pump.

    - Tripped while racing a parking enforcement officer to his car's expired meter.

    - Elbowed by Barack Obama in weekend basketball game.

    - Laying groundwork for insurance scam so he can use money to restore Venetian Night.

    - Punched in face by Patrick Ryan for wasting two years of his life.

    - Guitar Hero mishap.

    - Slept on his face funny while filling in for a Streets and San worker.

    - Really heavy filing cabinet filled with secret documents fell on him.

    Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.