"I'm writing this to you out of love, not fear."
That's how Meghan Maza Oeser, an Oak Forest mother, starts a lengthy letter to her husband before leaving him alone with their girls for the weekend.
Oeser posted the profanity-laced letter to Facebook where it's since gotten nearly 200,000 likes, been shared more than 130,000 times and racked up just above 72,000 comments.
"Upon arriving home after work, things won't seem so bad," Oeser writes. "The others will hug, jump and for the most part, be pretty excited to see you. This will be short lived ... I promise."
She then goes on to explain the regular homefront conflicts about the couples' daughters fighting over Elsa dresses from the kids cult classic "Frozen," dinner discord over whether to have pizza or hot dogs, amid many other warnings of parenting pitfalls.
"You'll end up bringing Penny to bed with you, thinking that's a good idea" she tells her husband in the Facebook post. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You may as well sleep next to Evander Holyfield on uppers."
And before leaving sign her note goodbye with "Kisses, the Wife," paired with a picture of leaving the home with bottles of liquor and a suitcase in tow, she has this pearl of wisdom above all.
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"It's almost lunchtime. Just start drinking now."
