Patti, You're Fired!
COMMENTARY: Coffee, bowling league issues
NBC
The governor's wife has been sent packing.
The Chicago Christian Industrial League fired Patti Blagojevich this week from her $100,000-a-year job there as a fundraiser. The CCIL wouldn't say why they fired Patti B., but the Beachwood Blago Bureau has learned that her supervisors and co-workers simply could not tolerate the following behavior:
- Kept making real coffee in the decaf container.
- Stole black running suit from the used clothing bin.
- Insisted she paid entry fee for office bowling team but league says they never received it.
- Tried to name homeless man named Chuck the director of the state highway department.
- Tried to get homeless clients to appear at husband's press conferences.
- Gave a lump of coal as her office Secret Santa gift.
- Tried to turn homeless man named Barry into her intern; made him pick up her dry cleaning.
- Organized soup kitchen seating according to precinct without permission.
- Tried to subcontract her work to campaign contributors.
- Totally couldn't do math.
- Vulgar language unacceptable in the workplace.
- Canceled office subscription to the Tribune without telling anyone.
- Still owes money in the office football pool.
- Drew mustache and devil horns on the office Obama photo.
- Tried to sell real estate to homeless clients for no money down.
- Insisted on finder's fees for every homeless client she brought in.
- Kept accepting prison phone calls from a guy named Tony.
- Kept suggesting the industrial league appeal to high-end clients instead of the homeless.
Cross-posted at The Beachwood Reporter.
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