Robber With Excellent Taste Steals Rhinestone Jacket

Victim left unharmed

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    An Uptown man was robbed Sunday night of a small amount of cash and a rhinestone-studded jacket he was wearing.

    ...Rhinestone? Really?

    According to police, the 21-year-old man was robbed while in the hallway of his apartment building near West Cullom and North Broadway.

    The attacker—described as 30-35 years old, bald, and African-American—told the victim he had a gun but never showed one.

    The criminal took the young man's cash and a black, waist-length jacket that "had a white 'angel design' on the back, a white cross on each arm, and rhinestones in various places," reports the Sun-Times.

    We're not sure which crime is more offensive: the robbery or the jacket itself.

    Fortunately, the victim was not hurt.

    We recommend that the criminal return the cash, but he can keep the jacket. Please.

    Matt Bartosik is a Chicago native and a social media sovereign.