An Illinois restaurant has stirred controversy after the restaurant's owner asked a woman to cover up while breast-feeding inside.
John Mathias, owner of Big Fish Bar & Grille in Wilmington, said he regrets what happened and hopes the controversy surrounding him and his restaurant will come to an end.
"I never wanted any of this," he said. "Who would want any of this?"
Mathias said while he was working Sunday, a server told him that some customers were uncomfortable with a woman breast-feeding at her table. That’s when he told the server to bring the woman a napkin and ask if she would use it to cover up, or offer her an empty banquet room to breast-feed in.
When the woman said she didn’t want to cover up, Mathias went to her table and informed her and her husband that other customers were uncomfortable, asking again if she would cover up or move to a different location in the restaurant. The woman then left and went to her car to finish breast-feeding.
Mathias said when he saw the mother leave, he apologized to her husband and the family later paid for their meal and left.
“That was it. It was a quick thing,” he said. “Then social media came into play.”
Local
Kristal Snow Tomko, who wrote about her experience on the restaurant’s Facebook page, said she felt “embarrassed and shamed, as if I were doing something wrong.”
“I went quietly and quickly to my van where I cried and nursed,” she wrote.
Tomko said she knew her 6-month-old son would pull down the cover if she used one and said it makes him hot. She also noted that Illinois law states that a mother “may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered.”
“The host and other staff need to be made aware and trained on how to handle future instances properly,” Tomko wrote.
Tomko’s post quickly became the center of a social media debate, with several mothers flooding the restaurant's Facebook and Yelp pages with photos of themselves breast-feeding and others criticizing Mathias’ actions.
"You discriminated against a woman feeding her child," one woman wrote. "How terribly disgusting and sad. You should be ashamed of yourselves."
Others said they hope the mother pursues legal action against the restaurant.
Mathias said he was just trying to make all of his customers happy and thought it was “a reasonable request.”
“I was simply looking out for all guests, respect for all,” he said. “I wasn’t telling you you can’t breastfeed.”
He later replied to the woman’s post, which has since been deleted, and said “everyone has rights and deserves respect.”
He said he has since received death threats, threats of violence and threats of vandalism following the incident.
“I just want to cook and create and build my restaurant,” he said. “I don’t have any cause, my cause is my customers and how they feel about my restaurant and my staff. And she’s somebody I care about because she’s my customer. I’m sorry I asked.”
Mathias said he regrets asking the woman to cover up, but said the incident has made him more aware of the laws around breast-feeding.
“From now on, I’ve rethunk it and the new policy is you can breast-feed wherever you want. I don’t care if you’re covered or not covered,” he said. “I’m not making a political statement here. I did what I thought was the right thing to do for everybody and I didn’t think the request was law-breaking or embarrassing for anybody.”
Tomko could not immediately be reached for comment.
