Pols Take The Fourth
How they'll celebrate
Our best guess as to how our political luminaries will spend the Fourth of July weekend.
Our best guess as to how our political luminaries will spend the Fourth of July weekend.
- Richard M. Daley: Denies knowing anything about fireworks contract going to nephew.
- Pat Quinn: Hasn't decided yet.
- Rod Blagojevich: Home mysteriously burns to ground in fireworks "accident."
- Patti Blagojevich: Hitchhikes Appalachian Trail with John Salley.
- Patrick Fitzgerald: Puts on John Phillip Sousa while writing up new round of indictments.
- Michael Madigan: Plots impeachment proceedings against Quinn while eating corn on the cob.
- Todd Stroger: Begs not to be taken to Cook County ER after hurting himself in a sparkler incident.
- Roland Burris: Amends earlier statement saying he wanted cheese on that burger; your fault for not asking right.
- Barack Obama: Will return home to visit the Taste of Chicago and pretend to like food.
- Dick Durbin: "The banks own this holiday!"
- Alexi Giannoulias: Lets Bright Start funds ride on Papa's Mustache in the fourth.
- Lisa Madigan: Announces exploratory committee to search her soul and pass the potato salad.
- Pat Ryan: Buys Olympic insurance policy from GEICO.
- Citizens: Plugging parking meters because they are now in effect on holidays, too, thanks to the mayor's brilliant dealmaking.
Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.
Copyright NBC Owned Television Stations
Posted Tuesday, Jul 14, 2009 - 1:59 AM CST
