Some people wake up with a crick in their neck. Tracy Durham woke up with a bullet in his leg.
Durham, 48 of Peoria, was treated Monday morning for a gunshot wound that he got the night before.
He says he never even knew he was shot.
Durham told police that he attended a party on Sunday night. He says he recalls calling a friend's girlfriend ugly before taking a swig of whiskey, reports the Peoria Journal Star.
One drink of several, it seems.
Durham says he heard a pop, but he didn't feel any pain.
Instead, he went home and fell asleep. In the morning, he stepped outside, where a neighbor pointed out Durham's limp.
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Only then(?!) did Durham realize he had a gunshot wound and went to Methodist Medical Center, according to the Peoria Journal Star.
Maybe he just hadn't had his coffee yet.
Durham refused to give police the name of the suspected friend or his "ugly" girlfriend.
Matt Bartosik is a Chicago native and a social media sovereign.
