Mayor Daley is scheduled to give his annual budget address this morning and the city's finances look so grim we wouldn't be surprised to hear the following proposals.
- All cronies must take three furlough days in 2010.
- No-bid contracts will become oral no-bid contracts to save on paper.
- Water meters will be privatized; you'll have to feed them every 15 minutes.
- Venetian Night will be replaced by Venetian Casino Night.
- All backroom deals will now be made in the less expensive front room.
- Red-light cameras will be replaced by green-light cameras. You will be billed for each one you go through.
- All ghost payrollers must now show up at City Hall twice a month to collect their checks to save on postage.
- Brown paper bags used to transport cash will be replaced by plastic bags salvaged from Jewel parking lots.
- City workers must now use their own vehicles to sleep in during their shifts instead of city vehicles.
- City will outsource mob connections to southern, union-free Outfit.