The Fifty/50 club in Wicker Park wants its porn back.
One of the bar’s vintage Playboy magazines was stolen over Labor Day weekend and the guys running the bar are all torn up.
Besides bare, pillowy bosoms, the mag’s got sentimental value -- it's part of a collection of smut that an uncle bequeathed to the bar owner, Scott Weiner.
Weiner wants the mag returned.
He's offering a $100 gift certificate to the bar and a copy of this May’s issue of Playboy signed by centerfold Crystal McCahill --- who may or may not have been hanging out at the bar before she was arrested for drunken driving earlier this year.
Wiener hasn't filed a police report yet and he says he'll take the mag back, no questions asked.
Lesson: porn is priceless. Beer makes people stupid.