Welcome to the Terrordome

Bubble Boy Burton at it again

View Comments ()
|
Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    AP
    "And inside the giant bubble we'll have plenty of irradiated canned ham for everyone."

    If one Congressman had his way, the floor of the House of Representatives would be sealed off from you, me and all our terrorist friends.

    Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.) wanted to enclose the House galleries "in a transparent shield" to fend off evildoers ... or, you know, anyone who doesn't agree with what Congress is doing, or that even larger force of Satan -- the media.

    Before you start laughing and think this is a joke, stop. He really did propose it.

    "What this bill does is it would authorize a study to look at enclosing the chamber, the gallery chamber, with Plexiglas so that somebody can't throw a bomb down on the floor and kill a lot of us," Burton testified before the House Rules Committee.

    How could someone kill half the members of Congress at once, you ask? Oh, Burton has thought it through in his head -- apparently over and over and over again. He broke it down into great detail for everyone to hear. It all starts with 10 pounds of explosives strapped to your body...

    "You could take a detonating device that looks like a watch so you could get through the metal detector," Burton said. "And when everybody was on the floor, as many as you wanted, you could put that into the plastic explosive, toss it out on the floor, and there is no way you would lose half of us if we were on the floor, at least, or more. I don't know how much damage it would do."

    But Plexiglas, that will stop it!  It's an impenetrable man-made force that only an occasional hockey puck can crack.

    Someone has clearly read too many Tom Clancy novels.

    This wasn't the first time Burton has tried to turn himself and his co-workers into bubble boys and girls. He apparently tried to get a similar amendment passed back in the 1980s.

    But just like that hair-band era attempt to seal off lawmakers from the people, his most recent stab at separating himself from the public ended on Thursday when stunned committee members rejected his zany idea.

    Perhaps the Post's Mary Ann Akers described it best:

    Before rejecting his amendment, members of the committee stared at Burton dumbfounded, according to sources in the room, as if wondering to themselves how to delicately explain to the Indiana Republican that he may be more in need of Xanax than Plexiglas.

    Sorry Rep. Burton. Two strikes and you're out on this one. Perhaps now you can concentrate on finding out who really killed Vince Foster. Or how not to get AIDS from the House barbershop. Or how to get that White House bug out of your phone. Or...