Punchlines ripped from the headlines

Kimmel Conjures Up Another Santorum

Rick Santorum's campaign pledge, according to his fake brother: "Get the big government off our backs and into our bedrooms."

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    Jimmy Kimmel interviewed "L. Brent Santorum" Wednesday for some insight into Rick Santorum's campaign for the GOP nomination.

    Some pundits were giving postmortems for Rick Santorum's presidential campaign Wednesday — but Jimmy Kimmel dug up a fictional Santorum brother to interview.

    "L. Brent Santorum," who apparently shared his would-be brother's taste for sweater vests, talked with Kimmel about his brother's campaign aims and chatted about his holy-roller family.

    He shared a photo of his eight daughters — named Faith, Hope, Charity, Piety, Grace, Sobriety, Abstinence and Courtney Jade.

    "They've all taken pledges of abstinence and heterosexuality," the fake Santorum sibling said.

    He also humorously refuted the suggestion that his very religious brother's campaign was tanking and that rival Mitt Romney would benefit from the blessing of popular former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.

    "Rick Santorum has the endorsement of our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ. That's the only endorsement we need," he insisted.

    He summed up his brother's campaign promises thusly: "Get the big government off our backs and into our bedrooms."

    Check out the clip below for more from L. Brent.