Rod Blagojevich’s lawyers want to delay the June 3 start of his trial because Judge James Zagel has excused hundreds of jurors who can’t be bothered to spend months listening to Rod swear like Redd Foxx on an off-color party tape.
Can you blame them?
There is a way, though, to make this trial entertaining. In keeping with the Blagojevich family’s post-gubernatorial career, let’s make “The Trial of Rod Blagojevich” a reality show. On Fox.
It would have great characters. Blagojevich was the breakout clown on Celebrity Apprentice, before Mr. Trump fired him. His suave, bombastic lawyer, Sam Adam Jr. -- the man who delivered the closing argument in R. Kelly’s child pornography trial -- was profiled in the current Chicago magazine.
“A jury trial is a show, nothing but a show,” Adam told the magazine. “He who puts on the best show, he who entertains the most, he who can bring [his] point in the most effective way, wins. Hands down.”
It’s probably eating him up that Illinois is one of the few states that doesn’t allow cameras in courtrooms.
We might have to replace Judge James Zagel, who has a great head of white hair which would, unfortunately, compete with Blagojevich’s. Rod’s hair should be a focus of the show. Perhaps it could even be tried separately, as a co-defendant.
However, there are several judges currently hosting afternoon TV shows who are dying for a shot at prime time, where they won’t be sponsored by personal injury lawyer. I suggest the handsome, distinguished Judge Alex, whose slicked-back hair is well under control.
Is Rod guilty or not guilty? Well, America, that’ll be up to you to decide. During the finale of the 12-week series, Adam and Fitzgerald will make their closing arguments, and viewers will be invited to vote by calling a 900 number.