Vote for Carol, or Danny Davis May Smite You

I was listening to V103 on Saturday, when I heard the most terrifying political advertisement of all time.

“Every community has its interest,” a female narrator said, as tense, apocalyptic strings played in the background. The music could have been the soundtrack to a movie about the opening of the Seventh Seal, or the extinction of human life on Earth. “Congressman Danny Davis explains why you should vote on February 22nd to protect yours.”

Danny Davis’s voice is so deep he could get a job reading the Old Testament for Books on CD. It’s even deeper than Charlton Heston’s slowed-down voice of God in The Ten Commandments. When Danny Davis quotes the Bible, you think you’re hearing from the author Himself:

"I remember two principles of liberation and self-determination that my parents taught. My mother often told us that it is a poor dog that will not wag its own tail. My father would tell us that the Bible says any man who will not support his own house is worse than any infidel. In honor of my parents during Black History Month, I am voting for Carol Moseley Braun for mayor, and ask that you vote for the best candidate. Punch 3 … for Carol Moseley Braun."

I expected to hear a thunderclap after that. The Bible verse Davis quotes is 1 Timothy 5:8, which says, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

In other words, if blacks don’t look after one of their own by voting for Carol Moseley Braun, they won’t be right with the Lord. When the that message is delivered in the sepulchral voice of Danny Davis, it may scare anyone into the voting booth.

Update: Moseley Braun defends her radio ad.

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