Ward Room
Covering Chicago's nine political influencers

Todd Stroger Needs A Job

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    NEWSLETTERS

    You don’t need a clout to get a job with newly-elected Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle.

    You just need an Internet connection.

    To expand the hiring process beyond the usual well-connected insiders and political brats, Preckwinkle is taking applications for county jobs online.

    Nonetheless, insiders and brats are applying. Like Todd Stroger. He has plenty of experience in government, having served as county board president, alderman and state representative. He’ll also need a job next month. Ward Room was recently leaked his application:

    Personal Information

    Honorific (Choose from: Dr., Hon., Mr., Mrs., Ms.) Sonny

    First Name (required) Todd

    Middle Name (optional) Henry

    Last Name (required) Stroger

    Nickname(s): The Toddler, Urkel, Baby Stroger

    Prior Job History

    Company (most recent): Cook County

    Title: Board President

    Job Description: The second largest county in the U.S., Cook County is a family business employing over 22,000 people, from corrections officials to elevator operators to my cousin Donna. I took over in 2006, after my late father, who founded Cook County in 1994, suffered a stroke. I was named to the job by the county’s board of directors, the Cook County Democratic Central Committee, beating out several other well-qualified candidates, including a former chief of staff to Mayor Daley. I was the first son of a board president to become board president himself. As president, I was responsible for identifying new sources of revenue. Under my leadership, Chicago established the highest sales tax of any big city in America.

    Reason for leaving: Like I need to tell you, Toni. Remember what I said on Primary Night? “At some point we're going to have to realize that every time an African-American male is being fought and trying to be pulled down, we’ve gotta look at it. We've got to take a hard look at it and see what's actually happening.”

    Company (prior): City of Chicago

    Title: 8th Ward Alderman

    Dates: 2001-2005

    Job Description: Represented John H. Stroger on the City Council.

    Company (prior): State of Illinois

    Title: Representative

    Dates: 1993-2001

    Job Description: Represented John H. Stroger in Springfield

    Desired Position

    Senior Executive Vice President, Cook County Board.

    Personal Statement

    It often takes a new executive four years to master her job. I can provide guidance on day-to-day operations throughout that learning period. Although I could no doubt pursue more lucrative opportunities in the private sector, I’ll even be willing to continue occupying my government-issue office at 69 W. Washington St. As the veteran Dick Cheney advised the inexperienced George W. Bush during his presidency, I can advise Toni Preckwinkle.

    References

    William M. Beavers, Cook County Board

    Joseph A. Berrios, chairman, Cook County Democratic Party

    John H. Stroger, former president, Cook County Board (letter on file)

    (The preceding resume contained no actual facts and is the musing of one political blogger in an attempt at satire.)