Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is already offering odds on the 2016 presidential election. Here are some of the favorites, with our comments.
- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton-D, 7-1: Oh, yeah, and the Spin Doctors are going to have another #1 album. The ’90s are over.
- Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan-R, 7-1: Only losing vice-presidential candidate to become president: Franklin D. Roosevelt. That’s all those two would have in common.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie-R, 12-1: One hundred years after William Howard Taft left the White House in a wheelbarrow, America is ready for another fat president.
- Ohio Sen. Rob Portman-R, 14-1: Barack Obama and John F. Kennedy were the last two senators elected president. But they had personalities.
- Florida Sen. Marco Rubio-R, 14-1: I see your first black president, and raise you with the first Latino president. The best bet on the board.
- Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush-R, 14-1: Maybe the third time’s the charm, but let’s not find out.
- Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney-R, 16-1: Even Romney knows this bet would be a bad investment.
- Vice President Joe Biden-D, 25-1: At 73, Biden would be the oldest man ever elected president. He should be hitting on widows at senior center bingo.
- Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal-R, 25-1: Bill Clinton is another governor whose first prime-time speech was terrible. Also, he’s Indian, and the GOP could use some melanin.
- New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo-D, 25-1: Like father, like son. A relic of ’80s liberalism.
- Wisconsin Sen.-elect Tammy Baldwin: Same-sex marriage is legal in the District of Columbia.
- Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker-R, 40-1: He’d beat an impeachment, you can count on that.
- Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel-D, 40-1: The first Jewish president doesn’t sound like a landmark anymore.
- Massachusetts Sen.-elect Elizabeth Warren-D, 66-1: Hillary Clinton without the baggage.
- Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum-R, 80-1: He’s going to keep running, just to clean up his Google results.
- Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards-D, 90-1: Identical to the odds of him marrying his mistress.
- Businessman Donald Trump-R, 100-1: I don’t even need to think of a joke. You already laughed.
- Texas Governor Rick Perry-R, 100-1: “There are three branches of government: judicial, legislative, and…um…”
- Minnesota Sen. Al Franken-D, 150-1: He’s good enough, he’s smart enough, but doggone it, will people like him?
