There’s a website called “The Chicago Bucket List,” which recommends things to do before you move away from Chicago. It includes such fun stuff as attending a poetry slam at the Green Mill, sailing on Lake Michigan, and spending an afternoon at the track. We’ve decided to propose a bucket list for Mayor Daley -- 10 things he should do before leaving office, so he can understand what life is like for the average resident of Mayor Daley’s Chicago. Here they are:
1. Slam on the brakes at a red light to avoid being caught by the camera, spilling the papers on his passenger seat all over the floor.
2. Have a parking meter reject his debit card, then run back to his car as a meter reader is writing a ticket, begging for time to get quarters from a nearby business.
3. Get up early to attend an important meeting, only discover that his car has been booted. Cancel the meeting and spend the rest of the day standing in line at a Department of Revenue office, so he can release the boot before the car is towed to Sacramento Street, which would add another $110 to the fine.
4. Get off at the Roosevelt L stop at 11:30 p.m., and walk home alone, wondering whether the neighborhood is safe for a senior citizen at that time of night.
5. Arrive early at Millennium Park for a classical music concert, only to find all the seats are taken. Sit on a grassy bump between a sidewalk and a fence.
6. Wait for a late-night bus on Michigan Avenue, then look at the sign and discover it no longer runs all night. Walk six blocks to the nearest L station.
7. Fill out a magnet school application for his son, then send him to a neighborhood school because an Assistant Corporation Counsel’s son got the last spot.
8. Beg the alderman to plow his alley, so he can get his car out and drive to his job on the Far Northwest Side.
9. Take his pre-school daughter to the neighborhood library at 10 a.m. on Tuesday morning, only discover it now doesn’t open until noon.
10. Try to buy a ticket to a Cubs game. Then root for the Cubs.
Once Mayor Daley has done everything on this list, he can finally call himself a real Chicagoan.