Remember the striking Chicago Public Schools teacher who carried a sign claiming “Rahm Emanuel Likes Nickelback”? Mike Konkoleski, the math teacher who designed the placard, imagined he was delivering the ultimate insult to his union’s antagonist. Because the only thing more loathsome than Nickelback is a Nickelback fan, right?
Wrong. According to Public Policy Polling, Congress is more loathsome than Nickelback. PPP measured Congress’s approval rating against several dozen irritants of modern life. In most cases, Congress lost. It turns out that 39 percent of Americans like Nickelback’s music more than they like Congress, while 32 percent like Congress more than Nickelback. Here’s how Congress fared in a few other test runs.
Congress vs. root canal surgery: Root canal 56, Congress 32.
Congress vs. head lice: Lice 67, Congress 19
Congress vs. cockroaches: Roaches 45, Congress 43
Congress vs. Genghis Khan: Genghis 41, Congress 37
Congress vs. Used-car salesman: Larry Dallas 57, Congress 32
Congress vs. the ebola virus: Congress 53, Ebola 25
Congress vs. John Edwards (a former member of Congress): Congress 45, Edwards 29
Congress vs. North Korea: Congress 61, North Korea 26
Congress vs. gonorrhea: Congress 53, gonorrhea 28
So if Konkoleski had really wanted to insult the mayor, he should have carried a sign that said, “Rahm Emanuel has gonorrhea,” or “Rahm Emanuel and Kim Jong Un are bros.” Just a tip for the next teachers’ strike, or any anti-Rahm protest. It’s been test marketed.