Hold on now. Rod Blagojevich is a riot.
Blagojevich says f---, f---er, a---hole and motherf------ so much that his quotes, on this and other family-oriented websites, look like a Morse code message, or a half-completed crossword puzzle on the back pages of a smut magazine. Someone should really start a website, “Rod Uncensored,” so Blago fans can read their hero’s words without all those annoying dashes.
It would read like a who's who of Illinois politics, a lot like the Illinois Blue Book, which is a directory of our state’s politicians. Here’s Rod’s blue book.
When it was suggested he appoint Alexi Giannoulias to the Senate, Blagojevich exploded, “That mother f-----, I wouldn't do s--- for him. Every chance he got he took a shot at me.”
In an interview with Esquire magazine, he called Attorney General Lisa Madigan a “c---.”
Complaining about the impossibility of competing with Obama’s presidential campaign, he called his rival “a historic (EXPLETIVE) demigod.” We’re assuming the expletive is a sanitized way of saying “f------.”
When Obama’s allies refused to make a deal to appoint Valerie Jarrett to the Senate, Blagojevich complained about “the arrogance of these f---ing people.”
When Tammy Duckworth’s name came up as a Senate candidate, Blagojevich managed to drop the f-bomb on her, Rahm Emanuel and Dick Durbin all at once, blurting, “Why the f--- would I make Durbin’s candidate or Rahm’s candidate (senator).”
The Chicago Tribune editorial board also made the grade. When they wrote an editorial praising Blagojevich nemesis Michael Madigan, he told his chief of staff, John Harris, to “fire all those f---ers and get me some editorial support.
Former Commerce Secretary and mayoral brother Bill Daley was “a f---ing a--hole” whom Blagojevich would never consider appointing to the Senate.
Blagojevich’s own press secretary, Cheryle Jackson, was “a f---ing incompetent liar” who “bounced a check.”
Blagojevich’s range is rather limited. So far, he hasn’t called anyone a b---- or a c----------. The only person he’s called a d--- is Sen. Durbin. He also hasn’t insulted Mayor Daley, Judy Baar Topinka, Rich Whitney or Rock Island City Manager John C. Phillips. Not being insulted by Blagojevich is actually more insulting than being insulted by Blagojevich.
But there plenty of tapes left to play, and plenty of “f---s” to be heard. They may yet get their cuss out.