Ward Room
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The White House B-Team Has Alexi's Back. Waaaaay Back.

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The White House B-Team Has Alexi's Back. Waaaaay Back.
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Another Obamanaut is coming to Chicago to stump for Alexi Giannoulias. This time, it’s David Plouffe, Obama’s 2008 campaign manager and author of two books, both titled The Audacity to Win.

Which makes me ask: why isn’t the White House sending anyone who can draw a crowd?

I was, honestly, excited when I heard that Jim Messina would be appearing with Giannoulias, because I loved the way he harmonized with Kenny Loggins on “The House at Pooh Corner” and I wanted to hear whether he and Alexi could produce the same magic. Messina also played with Buffalo Springfield and Poco, making him a key figure in ’70s FM lite rock.

Then I found out it wasn’t that Jim Messina. It was White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Operations Jim Messina. Messina was previously chief of staff for Senator Byron Dorgan, who spent the ’70s as North Dakota’s Tax Commissioner. (I hope that sentence wasn’t as boring to read as it was to type.) So he should be able to share some anecdotes about the Bismarck Airport.

Giannoulias is also bringing Education Secretary Arne Duncan to town. Duncan is so bland I can’t even make a joke about him.

There are White House B-listers who could light up a Giannoulias rally. I personally would love to meet Office of Management and Budget Director Peter Orszag, who dumped his 39-year-old baby mama so he could marry a much hotter ABC News correspondent. And accomplished all this womanizing despite wearing a shellacked toupee that would embarrass Marv Albert. His nickname is “the Orszagasm.”

I’d also like to see White House speechwriter Jon Favreau. Unlike Messina, he’s cooler than the celebrity with the same name. White House Favreau dated Alejandra Campoverdi, who posed for Maxim in her underwear.

Hollywood Favreau last acted in Couples’ Retreat.

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