Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and burn the tape of last night’s national title game. LET’S GO!
PREGNANT IN HEELS – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Bravo’s latest reality excursion follows Rosie Pope, a “maternity concierge” in Manhattan who assists privileged ladies who are pregnant and all but destined to be horrible, horrible mothers. In tonight’s premiere, Rosie helps an author name her child, and if you think that child isn’t going to be named Blakeley or Salinger or something equally terrible, you are WRONG. Rosie will also school the mothers in various other Manhattan parenting skills, such as: How to ignore your child while scheduling an appointment with your personal trainer on your Blackberry, how to design a schedule for your twelve nannies, and how to lash out at your child when they don’t get into that $50,000-a-year preschool you wanted them to attend. Should be fun. ANTICIPATION: SPOILED!
JERSEY CHEER – 10:00PM (Lifetime) Lifetime’s new reality show follows an all-star squad of New Jersey cheerleaders. Sample cheers include SISS BOOM BAH, SISS BOOM BAH, I’M SO DRUNK ON SMIRNOFF ICE BRAH BRAH BRAH! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen stacked orange people. ANTICIPATION: CATTY!
EGYPT’S LOST RIVAL – 10:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network) Learn all about the lost city of Qanta, located in present-day Syria and site of one of the wealthiest cities of the ancient world. What happened to Qanta? How did it fall? And is it okay for me to pocket this skull fragment if the dude died 2,000 years ago? I say yes. ANTICIPATION: RAIDERS!
ONLY IN AMERICA WITH LARRY THE CABLE GUY – 9:00PM (History Channel) Larry joins a Civil War reenactment group. And I think we all know which side Larry’s gonna take. ANTICIPATION: DIXIE!
ADDICTED TO FOOD – 10:00PM (OWN) Oprah’s new channel busts out a series following eight people with eating disorders as they attempt to get “sober” from Doritos and Hostess apple pies. And if you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you know just what kind of emotional pull that apple pie has. It’s like cocaine encased in a flaky, glazed crust. ANTICIPATION: SAD!