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Thursday Watch List: Snooki vs. Letterman

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you wait in line for the Verizon iPhone. Hey, you can actually call people on your iPhone now? Who knew that thing could be used to talk to people? LET’S GO!

    LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN – 11:30PM (CBS) David Letterman is always at his caustic best when interviewing people he has absolutely no respect for, so tune in this evening as he engages in what’s certain to be an awkward sit-down with best-selling author Snooki (I can’t believe I just typed that). Watch as Letterman openly insults Snooki without her detecting it. Marvel at her complexion, which is not unlike that of a peeled sweet potato. If only Joaquin Phoenix and the ghost of Farrah Fawcett could also somehow be involved. ANTICIPATION: WEIRD!

    JERSEY SHORE – 10:00PM (MTV) Shocking News: Ronnie and Sammi break up! No, for real this time! They swear! Ronnie trashes her things and everything! Anyway, Sammi considers leaving the Shore for good. Expect her to change her mind about it 6,734 times. ANTICIPATION: GO AWAY!

    CSI – 9:00PM (CBS) Tonight you get a special CSI cameo from Yelawolf. I do not know who that is. I’m guessing he (she?) is a hip hop artist.

    /does Google search

    Yep, he’s a hip hop artist. Anyway, expect many a trunk to be popped this evening, and expect those trunks to have corpses in them. Come on, America! It’s Yelawolf! You know you adore him! ANTICIPATION: YELAWOLF!

    ANXIOUS – 8:00PM (OWN) This new series from the Oprah network follows two people suffering from anxiety disorders. Boy, I bet it’ll be really unnerving for them to watch themselves on TV. What if they look silly? What if every makes fun of them? What if they embarrass themselves forever and ever and ever? I don’t think I could deal with that kind of pressure. ANTICIPATION: APPREHENSION!

    LAKERS/CELTICS – 8:00PM (TNT) The classic rivalry continues tonight as Kobe and his bedraggled crew take on their Finals dance partners. Expect bouts of severe chippiness. ANTICIPATION: RIVALS!