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"Sex and the City: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menage a Trois"? Could Be

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Carrie and the girls are together again for a second helping of "SATC" on the big screen.

    Now that everyone has had a chance to sit back and come to the collective realization that "Sex and the City 2" was, shall we say, not so good (one may even be tempted to call it "a Molotov cocktail of cultural awfulness"), it's the perfect time to kick around some "Sex and the City 3" rumors!

    But hold on - word is that that we won't be forced to watch Kim Cattrall run around spouting innuendo until she eventually became a made-for-Cinemax Betty White. There seems to be a plan in place to take a page from the George Lucas playbook and make a prequel.

    The "wish list," according to the Daily Mail, includes Blake Lively as Samantha Jones, Selena Gomez as Charlotte York, Emma Roberts as Miranda Hobbes, and Elizabeth Olsen as Carrie Bradshaw.

    The project is believed to be culling from "Sex" author Candace Bushnell's novels "The Carrie Diaries" and "Summer and the City," which track the foursome during their teens and twenties.

    Not that you need to have read a Bushnellian sentence to guess exactly what each girls' plotline will be. Our humble attempt: 

    Samantha: Was once a...wait for it...prude! Really! And then she had an orgasm once and it changed the course of her life forever.

    Charlotte: Let's see....Oh! She once had a wild side! But then something happened (her "bad boy" phase ended badly when she realized bad boys were bad) and she became a born-again stick in the mud. And if the casting rumor is true, she was also Latino before become a WASP.

    Carrie: When she first got to Manhattan she had....No fashion sense! At all! She wore, like, acid-washed jeans and mom sweaters. Then she went shopping on Fifth Avenue once and it changed the course of her life forever.

    Miranda: Was actually always an unlikable complainer with no plots worthy of attention or interest. Whoda thunk? 

    C'mon. We kid. But at least rom-com fans will potentially get to experience the crushing prequel disappointment that sci-fi fans know all too well.