Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and welcome August into your life. Ah, August. It never really seems to end, does it? I don't know why we can't shorten August to 28 days and make September 33 days. I'd have absolutely no issue with that. LET’S GO!
ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS – 9:00PM (Travel Channel) This is the big fat el Bulli tribute show, in which Tony and DC celebrity chef Jose Andrea head to Spain to work the line at chef Ferran Adria's legendary home of modernist cooking. The restaurant will close next year, so Bourdain considers this evening's show an essential historical document in the history of food, showcasing dishes that you probably won't ever see again (not that you were wealthy enough or connected enough to see them in person anyways). So sit back and marvel at little orbs of olive oil and paper made from caviar and burgers made entirely out of fish scales, or whatever crazy stuff it is that Adria whips up. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
ROGUE SHARKS – 9:00PM (Discovery) Shark Week continues with this hourlong show featuring sharks who have abandoned traditional fiscal conservatism and embraced Tea Party values. Just kidding. Discovery takes a look at shark attacks to see if sharks really have malicious intent when they go after humans. Here's my question: Does it REALLY matter? When a shark is biting your leg off, does it really give you any more relief to know that he was just dismembering you out of curiosity? Isn't that somehow even worse? Stay tuned afterwards for "Summer of the Shark," which looks at the 2009 shark attacks in Australia. ANTICIPATION: SHARKY!
SUPERSIZE VS. SUPERSKINNY – 10:00PM (OWN) Obese women and alarmingly thin women trade diets for a while to see what happens. I'll tell you happens... Anarchy. That's what. ANTICIPATION: CRAZY!
THE BACHELORETTE – 8:00PM (ABC) Season finale. Who will be Ashley's future ex-boyfriend? Will it be Ben F., or will it be JP? Girl, never trust a guy with initials for a first name. Everyone knows that. Stay tuned afterwards for the "After the Final Rose" show, just in case two hours of these people weren't quite enough for you. ANTICIPATION: ROSY!
HOARDERS – 9:00PM (A&E) A woman hoards videotapes. Hey, those could be valuable one day! ANTICIPATION: HOARDY!