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Monday Watch List: Bachelorettes With Black Eyes!

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Monday Watch List: Bachelorettes With Black Eyes!

New episode of "The Bachelor" tonight

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and get out of changing the diapers by faking a knee injury. So very convenient. LET’S GO!

THE BACHELOR – 8:00PM (ABC) Tonight one of the bachelorettes has a black eye and she has no idea how she got it. Now THAT is a gal I can party with. That’s the kind of gal you should start off your reality show hooking up with only to dump five dates in for the real marriage material. Also tonight, Brad helps one of the gals overcome her fear of water. My goodness, where did they get these ladies, at a Marshall’s outlet store? It’s like a junior cougar bargain bin. Also appearing tonight on the show is… Dr. Drew! Of course. If there are women with black eyes and odd phobias that Dr. Drew can exploit to make himself look like the Savior, then he’s all over it. ANTICIPATION: CRAZY!

AMERICAN EXPERIENCE – 9:00PM (PBS) PBS documents the building of the Panama Canal, an undertaking that cost the United States $375 million, took ten years to build (1904-1914), and cost God knows how many workers their lives due to malaria and construction accidents. I bet the people who worked on the Canal got really mad when commercial aviation became a reality. “You mean you can just fly over it now? Well isn’t that typical?” ANTICIPATION: MASSIVE!

HOUSE – 8:00PM (FOX) House has to hang out with Cuddy’s kid or something. And you never want your nasty medical drama to take a turn into the Steve Guttenberg comedy area. It never ends well. Also, an embarrassing photo of Chase shows up on a social networking site. Since brand names are usually never used on big shows like this, let’s assume that site will be called FacePamphlet. ANTICIPATION: AGING!

TABATHA’S SALON TAKEOVER – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) That creepy British lady with the creepy haircut heads to a hair salon in Tewksbury, Massachusetts, where the staff is in revolt and the owner is a moron. But with creepy lady’s help, I’m sure they’ll be back to shaving Red Sox logos into the side of mullets in no time. ANTICIPATION: BAD HAIR NATION!

INTERVENTION – 9:00PM (A&E) Tonight’s addict is named Jimbo. And with a name like Jimbo, is there any doubt that his addiction is meth? No, there is no doubt. ANTICIPATION: METH!

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