Groupon can't respond to the media's picking apart of its IPO filing because of an SEC-mandated "quiet period" to prevent fluffing stock value before the initial public offering.
That probably doesn't sit too well with a guy like Andrew Mason, who isn't afraid to impress upon reporters the group-buying company's quirky image.
So instead of risking an ill-timed quote to Bloomberg, Mason sent in the cats.
"Groupon the Cat," that is.
The company mascot broke its silence about the media's initial confusion over the company's low IPO number and subsquent criticism with a blog titled "The Groupon Guide to the 'Quiet Period.'"
In the post,written by CAT on Monday
, kitty refers to "brutal hazing rituals" by the press designed to desensitize the company to public criticism and help the "naively optimistic company" thicken its skin.
For good measure, Groupon the Cat even suggested a few more ways to "torture" the company during its quiet period:
Kick sand in the company’s face. Lesson Learned: If the company survives, it’s time to move on to sand’s close relative, powdered glass.
Use the company’s cell phone to text a vote for the new M&M’s color to be a sickly ashen gray. Lesson Learned: Customers aren’t capable of making their own decisions.
Earlier this month, a human broke Groupon's quiet period when Eric Lefkofsky was quoted in a Bloomberg story, saying: “I’m going to start a lot of companies. These are not sham companies. These are great businesses. InnerWorkings is profitable. Echo is profitable. Groupon is going to be wildly profitable.”
