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Chicago sportswriters took backup quarterback Todd Collins woodshed this week.
In one of the more obvious statements after a dismal 4-interception performance, Dan Pompei at the Chicago Tribune said Collins flunked the starting QB test. Rick Morrissey at the Sun-Times' claims Collins has no business in Bears blue, and recommends cutting the back up QB. But cutting Collins is the worst thing we can do. Hear me out:
Jay Cutler is still our starter. He's a man with a fragile ego and, these days, even more fragile cognitive function. He comes from the cursed QB class of 2006.
Matt Leinart? A pouting baby in a man's body who couldn't beat out Derek Anderson, Max Hall or John Skelton for a roster spot.
Vince Young? A QB who can only work his arms or his legs (not both) on any given play. When he realizes how terrible he is, he disappears and triggers 4-hour police manhunts.
And those guys were drafted ahead of Cutler. Clearly, 2006 was a banner year for head cases.
Having Todd Collins as Cutler's backup sends a strong signal that Jay is our only hope. Like how NBC threw a talented Conan O'Brien overboard to make a different Jay feel safe. Who's gonna take Leno's job now? Jimmy Fallon? Surely, you jest.
When Cutler looks over his shoulder, he should see a 38-year-old man with a wet noodle arm who's just happy to collect an NFL paycheck. Cutler needs to feel like the belle of the ball. It's the Bears' job to surround him with homely cat ladies. Having the confidence that we won't bench him even if he pulls a Brett Favre cell phone picture maneuver in the huddle, Cutler can play with house money.
A confident Cutler is our best shot at a Super Bowl. So let's back him up with the absolute worst option possible after JaMarcus Russell - Todd Collins.