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Why the Bears Need Moss N' Merriman

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    NEWSLETTERS

    The bye week has come and gone and the only perceptible change for the Bears is flipping Todd Collins above Caleb Hanie on the depth chart.  To quote Matt Foley, "La-di-frickin-da."

    This isn't going to cut it.  Other teams are making actual changes. The Saints lost to the Browns. Then they decided they weren't too keen on that, so they fixed a few things and came out and whipped the Steelers. Have you seen any game-to-game improvement from the Bears?

    We need a new toy. And there are two intriguing possibilities dangling on the vine: Randy Moss and Shawne Merriman.

    Randy Moss is an idiot.  But he's a fast idiot.  The Mike Martz offense depends on stretching the field, so Moss could be a good fit.  But does it matter how far downfield our receivers are when Jay Cutler's lying on his back?

    Still, Lovie may want to add Moss to the fold. A lunatic receiver's antics would distract from all the ineptitude among the coaching staff.  It's rare that a coach gets torpedoed because a player sabotages the team. After a string of disappointing years, Lovie is definitely on the hot seat.  It's possible Moss could be just the diversionary tactic to earn the coach a pass for this year.  The conversation would shift from, "Aren't the Bears a mess?" to, "Isn't Randy a mess?"  It's like giving yourself a black eye to keep people from focusing on an outbreak of zits.

    Merriman used to be a quality linebacker.  He racked up almost 40 sacks in his first three years with San Diego.  Then there was the steroids thing.  And injuries.  And Tila Tequila.  But considering Brian Urlacher once added the Paris Hilton merit badge to his conquest sash, it wouldn't be the first time a linebacker needed a prescription for penicillin.  Heck, they could get together and swap stories.

    Merriman has battled the injury bug for the last few seasons, but the guy is only 26.  He was a Pro Bowler as recently as 2007.  It's worth a shot to bring him in, let him chill on the bench and use the guy in spot situations.  Worst case scenario, he can't run and we cut him at the end of the year.  Best case scenario, we rehabilitate a once-great pass rusher and turn him loose on opposing quarterbacks. The Bears have an aging defense, so adding some fresh legs could help our stars hang in there longer.

    Chances are, Jerry Angelo is busy scouting our next first round running back bust.  So it's unlikely he's even paying attention to this season.  But if the Bears are going to have a shot at the playoffs, we'll need a boost for the second half of the year.  Either or both of these psychos may be just what we need.