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Thanks For the Bye, Vick

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Getty Images
    Michael Vick #7 of the Philadelphia Eagles looks on against the Houston Texans at Lincoln Financial Field on December 2, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

    Remember when you were in school and a blast of winter would give you a snow day?  That's just what happened last night.  The Eagles gift-wrapped a day off for the Bears.  We've got a bye.  We should go sledding.

    Once upon a time, Michael Vick was an MVP candidate.  Then he decided to lay an egg on national TV.  Seriously, he was bouncing the ball off Viking fingertips like he was Fran Tarkenton.  Super-generous of him.  If he decided to play like last night mattered, we might have to exert some effort over the next two weeks.

    Now the Green Bay game doesn't matter.  Should we let them in the playoffs or shut them out?  We get to choose!  Maybe we'll rest our starters every other quarter.  Maybe we'll let Robbie Gould attempt 70-yard field goals on every drive.  Maybe we'll let some sick kid in the hospital call every play.  It doesn't matter.  Thanks, Eagles!

    Of course, the downside is that I literally have nothing to blog about until January 10, when we'll know who the Bears will play in the conference semi-finals.

    Possible time-killing blog titles include...

    "Your Ditka-stache and You: A Guide to Growing a Playoff Mustache."

    "The Top Ten Body Crevices for Smuggling Outside Food and Drinks into Soldier Field"

    "Words That Rhyme with 'Bears.'"

    "An Imagined Conversation Between Virginia McCaskey and Count Dracula."

    "Brad Maynard Haiku-palooza."

    "A Tribute to the 37-yard line."

    and

    "Scenes I Want to See in the 'Brian's Song' 3D Remake"

    Thanks for that, Eagles.  Your massive failure allows us two weeks of carefree bliss.  Should be plenty of time to paint my apartment navy and orange, pass out from the fumes, wake up in an amnesiac haze, remember who I am, take cooking lessons and make flawless souffles for the playoff party to come.