EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 03: Aaron Ross #31 of the New York Giants sacks Jay Cutler #6 of the Chicago Bears at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 3, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)
Is it 5 o'clock? No. That's the number of times Jay Cutler has had his bell rung, according to the Chicago Tribune's Brad Biggs . Our plucky QB has at least five concussions on his resume. Not that he wants you to know that.
Despite Cutler's insistence that the Giants delivered him his first-ever concussion, it looks like he racked up three concussions in college. And we're guessing those probably aren't the only times he blacked out at Vanderbilt.
Add a 2006 concussion in Denver and this year's trip to Dreamland and you've got a recipe for someone who has all the mental agility of Sloth from "The Goonies."
Knocked out five times? Five? Look, if you got knocked out five times fighting King Hippo in "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out," you wouldn't get up. But Cutler is about to try to run the Mike Martz offense with a few checkers missing. No wonder he's lying.
Guys tend to exaggerate numbers one way or another. Ask us how tall we are or how many girls we've hooked up with; ask us how much money we have or how much we can bench. You won't get the truth. So we're betting Cutler is using fuzzy math on his concussion number. At the point, his math probably ain't the only thing that's fuzzy.
To be fair, Jay Cutler isn't going to advance his career by telling you his head feels like a peanut rattling around in a Coke can. It's his job to look at you through blurry, blurry eyes and tell you everything is fine. "That's right, Coach. I'm fine. Put me in. Let's go, Broncos! Bears! I said Bears. Let's go Bears. The team I play for."
Meanwhile, this is playing in a constant loop in Cutler's head: "I'm Batman!"