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Jay Cutler is sacked by the Seahawks.
Forget the final score. Devin Hester's heroics made the game seem closer than it was. Cutler dropped back to pass on 79.7 percent of all plays against the Seahawks. Even when you're running up the score in Madden, you don't pass that often. But Mike Martz keeps calling passes like he's trying to settle some insane bet.
If you're trying to defend the Bears, do you even bother trying to stop the run? Just pin your ears back and run like hell at Cutler. Don't worry about the five turnstiles with helmets. We stand a better chance of moving the ball down the field by punting and hoping the return guy muffs it.
It's one thing if you have Kurt Warner throwing to Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce and Marshall Faulk. But Martz doesn't have that. He's got Jay Cutler, Johnny Knox, Devin Aromashodu, Devin Hester and Matt Forte. That's like saying you plan on driving like you have a Mario Andretti Indy car but you drive a Geo Metro with a spoiler welded on the trunk.
Even if you had the "Greatest Show on Turf" in Bears uniforms, would there be any time to throw behind this terrible line? Neil Hayes says we're on pace to give up 72 sacks this season. 72!
And of our last 40 third down plays, we've converted a whopping... three. Three out of 40. That's the same ratio of "Rock of Love" girls who don't come to the show in the midst of a herpes breakout. How do you defend against herpes? Protection. What do Mike Martz and Bret Michaels not believe in? Protection.