You think this guy wakes up on gameday, ready to go? It takes serious preparation. (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)
In 100 days, the Bears will kick off against the Bengals to start the 2013 regular season. One hundred days seems like a long time, but we can get through this. While the Bears are installing a new offense, getting to know a new coach and finding out about their new teammates, the fans have work to do. Here's what you need to do to in the next 100 days to get ready.
May 31: Start working on your clever putdowns of the other teams. Bears fans are smart, but that takes good preparation. Be ready for not just Chicago's NFC North opponents, but every team on the schedule.
June 13: Wish Gabe Carimi a Happy Birthday.
June 15: Take a scouting trip to Bourbonnais. You don't want to be the goofball who gets lost and holds up traffic. You also don't want to stand around, looking at Yelp when it's time to eat. Take a drive around, test some restaurants and bars, and create a training camp plan of attack.
June 22: Wish Corey Wootton a Happy Birthday.
June 27: During your family's annual trip to Door County, resist the urge to rip up every Cheesehead you see. Bears fans are better than that. Now, if you want to yell, "Bear down!" every time you catch a fish, that's encouraged.
July 1: Wish Major Wright a Happy Birthday.
July 17: Make your travel plans for an away game during the season. Do you want to head up to Green Bay? (Ick.) Maybe you want to take a trip to our nation's capitol, or take a quick drive down 55 to St. Louis? Make your decisions and your reservations.
July 23: Wish Kelvin Hayden a Happy Birthday. He just escapes having to celebrate his birthday in camp.
July 25: Training camp starts. By now, you have your Bourbonnais game plan down, so you don't need to scramble to figure out when you're going to drive down I-57 or which bar you will visit.
Aug. 1: Wish Shea McClellin a Happy Birthday.
Aug. 8: Wish J'Marcus Webb a Happy Birthday.
Aug. 9: Pre-season game at Carolina. This is a good chance to try out your routine for nighttime games. Test a bar to see how they handle football. Try out recipes if you're hosting friends at your home.
Aug. 11: Wish Adam Podlesh a Happy Birthday.
Aug. 15: Pre-season game vs. San Diego: Are you a season ticket holder? This is your night to prep. Shake off your tailgating rust.
Aug. 19: Wish Jermon Bushrod a Happy Birthday.
Aug. 23: Pre-season game at Oakland. This one doesn't kick off until 10 p.m. on a Friday night. This means you need a nap during the day. I'm sure your boss won't mind if you nod off for a few minutes.
Aug. 29: Pre-season vs. Cleveland. It's your last dress rehearsal. Get it right.
Sept. 8: Kickoff. Sit back, relax and enjoy the game. You've worked hard and deserve it.