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If anyone has a sledgehammer...

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If anyone has a sledgehammer...

...let me know. I'll hop in the back of the truck here and start pounding the crap out of these meters. There are precious quarters inside each one, and workers contracted out by the city were ripping them up in the last few days regardless of what coined-surprise was inside. It's like a cracker jack box in real life. (Look, Mom! I got a golden dollar!!)

**Alderman's aide ends up suspended for making a fake sign to avoid feeding the meter. He practices this just steps away from the street named after him. He's got stones, but he's the first 80-something that I want to punch in the face. What an arrogant you-know-what!

**Righthand Man Jim drove off to Kansas City today, our Traffic Lounge friend Amanda took off for Poland as well. Advantage: Amanda.

**Today's trivia involved Michigan Avenue and the Magnificent Mile. So how long is the Mag Mile? Not a mile. We stumped Rob and Zoraida with the answer being just 0.8 miles long from the Chicago River up to Oak Street. (Can you imagine it? The Magnificent Eight-tenths-of-a Mile? Me neither.)

**A Cubs fan was arrested for trying to slide on the tarp. The Wisconsin woman may have been "over-served." Hmm, I highly doubt that I mean, haven't you ever had the urge to dive on a huge slip and slide? I know I have. Greg Maddux did during the first night game. Mark Buerhle used to do it all the time on the Southside. So why can't the fans? I say line 'em up like the minor leagues do for "running the bases" and let 'em have at it!

**Dance Friday tomorrow. Cassidy's back, she's scheduled to appear. (Relax everyone.) The song: The Fratelli's "Chelsea Dagger," the song you hear at United Center when the Hawks put the puck in the back of the net. Oh, and the Blackhawks Ice Crew will be on hand with the Make-A-Wish Foundation. As for the Ice Crew, Ashley will not be apart of the festivities, to which I'm deeply saddened. She tells me her "dream" is to be on Dance Friday one day.

Proof that one day, someone's dream will come true...at 6:55 in the morning.

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