Ben’s Breakfast Blog

Howie Ruin a Network

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* What kind of prom dress would land a 17-year-old girl in handcuffs?  Oh.  This one.  Classy.

Women who are the most in touch with their feelings have the most orgasms.  As do men who are the most in touch with women's bodies.

* The Toddler's tantrum continues as he vetoes the sales tax rollback.  He celebrated his success with a juice box.

* Famous musician dies, Irish student plants fake quote on Wikipedia, hilarity ensues.  Wikipedia is usually so reliable.  I mean, they were dead-on about Scott Hamilton's terrible shoes.

"Howie Do It" was the least DVR'd show of the week.  Because it is awful.  It's "America's Funniest Home Videos" without the subtlety.

Acupuncture cures back pain, even if you use toothpicks instead of needles.  That said, you have to shove the toothpicks much harder to get them to stick in the skin.

* This just in: Women are obsessed with their weight.  Although I know some who should be and aren't.  You're a girl.  It's your job to be pretty.

Laughter and music can improve your blood flow.  Hot chicks also improve your blood flow, but only in one particular place.

* Motown may become Notown as GM considers leaving.  Will the last one out of Michigan please turn out the lights?

Murder isn't always appealing to the opposite sex.  But sometimes it is.  That article seems to contradict itself.  Just to play it safe, I think I'll put someone in a coma, then see if the ladies are turned on.  If so, I pull the plug.  (Blogs are inadmissible in court, right?)

* If you fall in love at first sight, it might be in your genes.  And if you don't fall in love at first sight, you are every woman I have ever talked to, ever.

Simon Cowell believes Adam Lambert will win "Idol."  Because America loves shrieking pixies who mangle songs.

* How often have you sampled from the 10 Most Misquoted Moments in Film?

* FINALLY!  Hulu gets around to posting the classic Old Glory Insurance sketch from SNL.  Robots eat old people's medicine for fuel.  It's a fact.

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