Ben’s Breakfast Blog

"Bad," Badly

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    NEWSLETTERS

    * EverythingIsTerrible.com brings us another mind-blowingly awful video.  I was able to hang with it until the :40-:52 portion, when I forever lost the ability to laugh.

    Death by chocolate.

    * Why do couples shack up before (or in lieu of) marriage?  I assume my friends do this to rub it in.

    College admissions officers sifting through an expected record number of applications this year have begun to turn online to learn more about students.* At one point, my mom was on Facebook, so I was not.  Then she left, and I joined.  But for those sorry souls whose parents have joined the Facebook revolution, there is this blog, that others may laugh at your misfortune.

    * We hear a lot of crazy things in our daily traffic reports, but we're still waiting on our first drunk badger traffic situation.

    * Naked man shows up for dental appointment five days late.  Can you imagine?  Five days late?  What was he thinking?

    * Pay attention to your cat, your cat ignores you.  Ignore your cat, he pays attention to you.  This works with the opposite sex, as well.

    What's up with all of Hollywood's leading men looking androgynous lately?  Probably dates back to DiCaprio in "Titanic."  Whenever I see him in a movie, I wonder why they couldn't get a grown-up to play his part.

    * There are weekend nights when I can hear my neighbors... going at it.  And as uncomfortable (jealous?) as that may make me, it never gets so bad that I consider moving.

    * United Airlines breaks guitars.  Wrote a song about it.  Like to hear it?  Here it go.

    * If you are an American between the ages of 18-25, you have no idea what the hell you're doing.

    * Women spend 16 minutes each morning deciding what to wear.  Hell, I spend 16 minutes from the minute I wake up till the minute I walk out the door.

    * Do men really want to get married?  As long as they're still free to sleep around, I think most men do.

    * Staying on the marriage beat, I give you 16 bad marriage proposals.  (At least half of these are fake.)

    * Ever wonder what really goes down at a pickup artist seminar?  Check it.  Confession: I am unhealthily fascinated by that VH1 series, "The Pickup Artist."  Probably because I have zero game and the prospect of mouth-breathing clowns being transformed into humans that women deem worthy of social interaction is somewhat inspiring.  It's still kinda creepy though.  I don't think I could lie to a woman, even if trying to pick her up.

    Here's more on that fascinating article from a few days ago about how postitive reinforcement may be a negative.  This is why I never compliment anyone.

    * We're about to run into a national Slim Jim shortage.  EVERYBODY PANIC!

    * This video is bound to make Michael Jackson spin in his wherever-he-is-but-not-a-grave-yet.