Ben’s Breakfast Blog

Adios, Popcorn

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    NEWSLETTERS

    * Until GE gets around to replacing some vacuum tube somewhere, the blog's images will continue to look goofy in Internet Explorer.  Download Firefox or practice lamaze to get over the pain of the image jumble each day.

    iCream might be one of the coolest places in Chicago.  You get to build your own custom ice cream from scratch?  And liquid nitrogen is involved?  The only way this would be more awesome is if every cone came with a license to dress up like a ninja and get away with one free murder.

    * Watch your back, Bob Sirott.  Women are gobbling up anchor jobs.  That's alright by me.  The news is the only time during the day a woman actually talks to me.

    * Clearly, I missed a lot by not drinking in college.  I never had the pleasure of getting so blitzed, I'd run around asking people to punch me in the face until one of them broke my nose.  And I never had the subsequent pleasure of asking my punch-buddy to reposition my nose by hand, triggering "profuse bleeding."  It is my biggest regret.

    * Some experiences are universal.  Your first day at school.  Your first kiss.  That day when your teacher saw you throw away some of your lunch and she grabbed the food from the garbage and made you eat it. 

    Can dieting make you dumb?  I'm sure fat people would love to think so.  But fat people are probably too busy checking their couch cushions for leftover Dorito crumbs to let their minds be burdened with such notions.

    * Zoraida authors the most pedestrian Twitter account ever.  (Sample: "just finished my chatt with matt, it's on eveyday between5 and 6 a.m.")  I will now refer to her as "Snore-ida Sambolin."

    * Congratulations, lonely middle-aged women with a houseful of cats.  The Chicago Tribune finally got around to printing an article on how to train your cats to do tricks.  Still no article on how to make your lifestyle attractive to men.

    * Six years after invasion, Iraq may have democracy but they're still a little iffy on the whole "drinkable water" thing.  You're welcome, Baghdad.

    * I don't know about you, but if I learned my kid was taking a college class on pirates, I'd just blow the rest of his college fund on a Segway, just to prove he's not the only one who can make bad decisions.

    Hillbilly Moonshiner Popcorn Sutton offed himself rather than go to jail.  This dude was hilarious.  The YouTube clip below doesn't do him justice.  (He's the guy with the crazy beard.)  Johnny Knoxville once did a ridiculously vulgar interview with him.  I'd link it here, but it is beyond inappropriate.

    Geek sidetrack: I continue to worship at the altar of the soon-to-be-finished "Battlestar Galactica."  The Guardian calls it "better than 'The Wire'," which wins the award for Comparison Most Likely to be Lost on Everyone.  I do intend to watch "The Wire" eventually.  Until then, it remains this thing that every critic loves but no regular person has actually seen.  In any case, do yourself a favor and rent the first season of "Battlestar."  It is far, far better than you can imagine, even if you don't dig sci fi.